novelsmap Chapter 37 He is a time passenger stuck in the past and unable to get out.
Chapter 37 He is a time passenger stuck in the past and unable to get out.
Sometimes in boring nights, I thought about what kind of reaction Cao Ning would have when we met again, what kind of expression he would show himself, and what kind of words would he say?
Zhang Qingyun thought she knew the other party pretty well, and the left and right were just some casual teasing, or asking him if he got rich.
I just didn't expect it to be like this...
There was a lot of anger on his face, and a lot of hurt in his eyes, as if he was the one who was abandoned.
Obviously it wasn't him, the person who was abandoned was himself sitting next to him.
"I'm sorry." Zhang Qingyun took a deep breath, apologized to him and said, "If the actions at that time made you uncomfortable, I apologize to you."
Cao Ning froze there. What he wanted was not an apology from Zhang Qingyun, but what else could he do? What else could he do with this person's attitude?
"How are you?" the man said with a smile again.
Cao Ning looked into Zhang Qingyun's eyes, which clearly reflected her own face. He was calm and calm, but she couldn't get back to her senses.
"Not very good." He lowered his eyes and said, covering his face and eyes with his hands. He didn't know why this happened, and he couldn't calmly face someone.
Where did so many complicated feelings come from, were those few nights really so important?
Cao Ning asked herself, but there was no answer.
"What's wrong?" Zhang Qingyun restrained her smile, he was not a heartless person, he couldn't laugh when he saw Cao Ning like this.
"It's good if I know." Cao Ning shook her head, trying to restrain her gaffe, and face to face with the people around her again.
"Are you too busy, take more rest." Zhang Qingyun didn't know what he was doing, and hadn't heard from him for a long time.
"Hehe, I'm still a student, what am I busy with?" Cao Ning said with a smile, not a good smile at all, he saw Zhang Qingyun frowning, and knew that he was not looking good, so he simply lowered his face: "I saw it a few days ago your interview."
"Really?" Zhang Qingyun remembered what was said in the interview, and smiled a little embarrassedly, which was exactly the same as his natural expression on TV. This kind of shyness made Cao Ning feel jealous and uncomfortable, and she couldn't help but want to see him .
He stared straight at it, a man, why would he attract his attention like this.
A frown, a smile, a subtle movement, are like a pair of invisible hands, grasping one's heart.
"Do you still like him?" Cao Ning asked suddenly.
"..." This question is too challenging. If he came to ask, Zhang Qingyun couldn't deceive herself, so she shook her head: "I haven't forgotten it yet."
The initial heart-piercing pain has slowly passed, but it still hurts occasionally, and I am not reconciled. Unfortunately, why can't it continue?
It would be great if it continued.
It's so wonderful to know each other when we were young and accompany us when we grow old.But he can't ask for it, he has too many fetters, and he can't come to live such a life by his side.
"Is that so..." After hearing this, Cao Ning seemed to be out of her wits.
Maybe he was thinking why I wasn't the one who met you early in the morning; maybe he was regretting that the good start between them had already been missed by him.
"At that time in Australia, did you really say you liked me?"
"Yes."
Today's flight is not delayed, and they are all boarding.
Cao Ning couldn't hear Zhang Qingyun's farewell to her, and he was still immersed in the unhesitating answer, muttering: "I knew you were a scumbag, but I still..."
Fell in love with a scumbag.
He picked up his luggage and quickly followed the two people in front, Zhang Qingyun and his assistant.
Coincidentally, they were seated next to each other on the plane.
Zhang Qingyun smiled helplessly, it seems that today's journey is a journey that is both sweet and tormenting.
When I saw it, I was actually very happy in my heart, but I was very afraid of facing the emptiness after the happiness.
Who knows when the next meeting will be after this meeting?
So sometimes I would rather not meet each other, because if I don’t see you, there will be no expectation, and if there is no expectation, there will be no disappointment.
"What a coincidence." Cao Ning sat down beside him with her luggage on top.
"Well, what a coincidence." Zhang Qingyun looked at him and asked considerately, "Will you get airsick?" With Chengyunning in her hand and warm water at hand, she was going to take a piece.
Knowing that he often flies around, Cao Ning said strangely, "You still get airsick."
Zhang Qingyun said: "Sometimes it will be when you are not in a good state." For example, you are too tired to catch up with work, or you are not feeling well.
In their line of work, you can be so busy when you are busy.
"I don't get airsick, but thank you anyway." Cao Ning said.
Zhang Qingyun was surprised by his thanks, and said with emotion: "You have changed a lot."
"Really? I was an asshole before, wasn't I?" Cao Ning held mints in her hand, opened the box and took two capsules. He sat inside, looked out the blurry window and said, "At that time, I was young and ignorant, and I had something in my mind. fly."
Looking back, I don't even know what I was thinking.
"It's only been a year, and it's a good thing that you've become so enlightened." Zhang Qingyun laughed, because his words were full of thoughts.
"..." Cao Ning looked at him, and especially liked the way he smiled brightly, like the stars all over the sky, bright but not scorching.
"Why, look at me like this?" Zhang Qingyun finished laughing, and found someone staring at her motionless.
Cao Ning shook her head and said softly, "It's good that I know." He always felt that looking at Zhang Qingyun like this was not all because of her good looks, but also because of other things.
That's something more important than looking good.
"Are you tired? Do you want to rest?" Zhang Qingyun pulled the blanket on his knees. He was tired. He had worked for several days without resting much.
"You rest." Cao Ning looked at him like this, and also saw the black and blue under his eyes.
Being a model is hard work, and he has followed him to shoot, he knows.
Zhang Qingyun put on the blindfold, and he fell asleep quickly due to exhaustion, although he really wanted to stay awake and enjoy the time sitting together more.
The flight took a little longer, Zhang Qingyun woke up a few hours later, and saw that the person next to him was still sleeping.
Cao Ning slept until she got off the plane. At the airport, Zhang Qingyun said goodbye to the sleepy-eyed him. He stood there in a daze, watching the other party leave with his assistant.
Drowsiness made his mind very confused. At that time, he found a chair nearby to sit down. When he woke up, there was only a lonely luggage bag beside him, and there were people coming and going in the airport. They didn't know what this young man was thinking there. what to look for.
How can a person know what's in his heart if he doesn't speak it out?
Cao Ning took out a scarf from her luggage bag, wrapped it around her trembling self, then covered her face and suppressed the inexplicable tears for a long time.
=======
The snowy night with light snow seems to be familiar.
The young man in the phone booth was wearing a coat, pajamas and a thick scarf around his neck.
He dialed someone's phone here.
"Qingyun, your phone is ringing." Assistant Evan said to the person who just came out of the bathroom, holding the phone in his hand, and handing it over to him.
"Thank you." Zhang Qingyun picked up the phone and saw a group of unfamiliar numbers. After connecting, he couldn't hear anything but some small voices. He covered the phone and said to the assistant: "Evan, go out first. .”
After closing the door, he sighed and said softly to the person on the phone: "Is there anything I can do for you?"
Cao Ning clenched the phone tightly: "Can you come to see me now? Or tell me where you are?"
"..." It was snowing outside the window, Zhang Qingyun took a look: "It's so cold now, it's better not to go out, why don't you rest early?"
"No, if I can rest quietly, I won't call you." Cao Ning sighed and said to him coldly, "I'm in the phone booth right now, it's very cold."
Zhang Qingyun smiled wryly: "It will be difficult for me if you do this."
"Then tell me, where are you?" Cao Ning kept breathing white, as if he couldn't breathe, so hard.
"Hang up on me and go home, okay?" Zhang Qingyun whispered, almost begging him.
"Tell me where you are, please?" Cao Ning pressed harder than him, her voice choked with sobs.
"You're so annoying." Zhang Qingyun's heart let go of all defenses at once, he didn't know what to do, he regretted not following the assistant's suggestion and catching up with the flight.
"I also think I'm annoying, I don't like this..." Cao Ning used her fingers to stop the tears streaming down her face, the person on the phone could barely hear what he was saying: "Why do I want to see you so much?" , see you, see you, why am I crying..."
He couldn't understand when the sadness from the depths of his soul existed.
It was suppressed in the bottom of my heart, and suddenly, like a flood that burst a bank, it destroyed all resistance and broke through the so-called reason.
"Then come here." He cried like that, and Zhang Qingyun's mind was filled with the image of a silly beep crying in the phone booth, which was a little funny and a little sad.
After Cao Ning got the address he gave, she hung up the phone quickly, then rushed out the door, and drove to find him.
On a cold day with snowflakes floating in the sky, he wore a pair of indoor cotton slippers, and he always felt like he was about to fall when he stepped on the ground.
That's because he ran too fast and couldn't wait.
There were few vehicles on the road in the middle of the night, so Cao Ning enjoyed the thrill of racing while crying.
Looking back afterwards, I feel very happy and stupid, but I never regret it.
Under the astonished eyes of the front desk staff of the hotel, he sloppily rushed upstairs and slammed Zhang Qingyun's door with his fist.
"Zhang Qingyun!" His voice was heard throughout the corridor.
Zhang Qingyun opened the door from the inside, and an unknown object rushed towards her.What he hugged was a ball... Tears, snot, snow water coat, peeled off the inside to reveal a person.
"How do you..."
How could it be like this?
It was freezing cold all over, Zhang Qingyun dragged him into a room with heating, and then closed the door behind his back.Then he pressed his palm against his cheek, which was not warm at all and was still wet.
He took off his coat, and it turned out to be a set of pajamas inside...
"Go in and take a hot bath, or you'll catch a cold." Zhang Qingyun didn't give him room to resist, and carried him into the bathroom directly, and put water for him to take a bath.
The moment she met Zhang Qingyun, Cao Ning felt that she was complete and collapsed.
There seemed to be no strength in the whole body, only the golden beans on the face were still flowing, like a small stream that couldn't be stopped.
When he was stripped naked by Zhang Qingyun and carried into the bathtub, he trembled for a moment, and goose bumps appeared all over his skin.
"Is the water too hot?" Feeling the tiny bumps in the palm of her hand, Zhang Qingyun rubbed them vigorously for him, especially the positions of the joints, because she was afraid that he would be badly cold, and it would be very uncomfortable to leave the root of the disease in the future.
"..." The hot mist smoked away, and her eyes became sour. Cao Ning looked up at the ceiling, not to expose her ugliness.
"What's the matter with you?" Zhang Qingyun lowered her head and put her palms on his knees. It was also cold here.
"It's good if I know." Cao Ning said with difficulty, raising her hand to cover her flooded eyes, tears slipped from the corners of her eyes to her chin, and fell into the hot water under him.
If he had to explain his current mood, he had nothing to say, he just wanted to cry, crying a little sadly, but he didn't know why he was crying.
It was very contradictory, as if there was still a person living in my heart, and he was crying.
When Cao Ning was crying uncontrollably, she asked him aloud irritably in her heart, what are you crying for?what are you crying for
Made me cry like an idiot, but tell me.
Knowing nothing, this feeling is also very uncomfortable, very uncomfortable.
"Don't cry, you'll get sick." Zhang Qingyun rubbed his joints to heat up. Seeing him crying like this, he felt very sad. He reached out and hugged the naked man in his arms, coaxing him like a child: "Ning Ning is not Cried."
Cao Ning's tears became more violent.
He said frantically: "Don't do this, I cried even worse." He was ashamed to death.
"I don't understand you." Zhang Qingyun patted his head and placed it on her shoulders, which had a certain weight and made her feel at ease.
"..." Cao Ning hugged him tightly, her fingers gripped the clothes on his back, her body was still trembling slightly.
Occasional sobs echoed in the bathroom, attacking the hearts of the two of them.
Zhang Qingyun slowly adjusted her breathing to calm herself down, and then comforted the man's back with a hot towel to keep him from getting cold.
Gradually, Cao Ning also calmed down, and finally withdrew from the embrace, revealing a pair of rabbit eyes.
Zhang Qingyun immediately twisted the towel, handed it to him, and wiped her face.
Cao Ning put the towel on her face, lay back and let out a long breath at the same time.
"You soak yourself, I'll go outside and wait for you." Zhang Qingyun stood up, stretched her paralyzed legs, took one more look at him, and went out.
Cao Ning took off the hot towel from her face, opened her big eyes, and stared at the ceiling in ecstasy.
His chaotic emotions are like the heat in the room, unable to withstand the stimulation of a little external object, otherwise it will disappear, really fragile and vulnerable.
In the past, Cao Ning would not admit that she is such a fragile and emotional person, he is not.
Now he is.
Getting up from the hot water, putting on the bathrobe prepared in the bathroom, Cao Ning walked out barefoot.
"Come and sit down." Zhang Qingyun picked up the towel and told him to come over, then lifted his feet to wipe off the water stains on them, and put them under the bed.
"..." Cao Ning looked at these silently, her thoughts were a little vague. Is this what he often does?
"I'll get you a glass of water." Zhang Qingyun got up, went to pour a glass of hot water, walked back to be beside him, and handed him the water glass: "Are you okay?"
He looked a little worried.
"Thank you." Cao Ning thanked her, and took a sip from the water glass, feeling her throat was already sore, and the pain became even worse after being washed by the hot water.
"Is it too hot?" Zhang Qingyun took the cup from his hand, because seeing his red eyes, he had the urge to rain again.
"Well, it's too hot." Cao Ning raised her head, turned her face away and took a few deep breaths to calm herself down.
"Everyone has a time when they are depressed to the point of explosion, and it will be fine after that." Zhang Qingyun put the cup away and quietly accompanied him.
"Do you have it too?" Cao Ning asked casually, taking out some tissues on the bedside to cover herself up.
"Yes." Zhang Qingyun told him without fear of embarrassment: "I used to hide in the room, crying so much that I couldn't go out to meet people."
"When you fell in love?" His college lover.
"Yes." When falling in love.
Who said that a man will not shed tears when he is in love, sometimes not only when he is in love, but also when he is too depressed and depressed.
There are too many things in life that make people want to cry, and not everything can be overcome.
"He dumped you?" Cao Ning asked him hoarsely as she sat on the bed, holding the quilt under her palm.
"Hmm." Zhang Qingyun nodded, looking at the person with the end of her eyes, wondering what he was thinking.
"Oh." Cao Ning lowered her eyes, avoiding Zhang Qingyun's visitation.
"Are you tired?" After a long silence, Zhang Qingyun straightened the quilt and let Cao Ning fall asleep.
Cao Ning pushed the boat along with the current and lay down.
I wanted to continue talking, but after tossing and tossing for so long, he was really tired and fell asleep as soon as he touched the bed.
Sleeping so fast made Zhang Qingyun smile helplessly.
When helping him tuck the quilt, I secretly touched his sleeping face with my fingers. I haven't seen him for a year. It seems that the chin has grown a little bit sharper.
I don't know how he passed this year, did he have a crush on anyone?
Thinking about these questions that I have no way of knowing, the emotion of longing gushes out, which is really hard to suppress.
Zhang Qingyun asked for a shallow kiss on the lips of the sleeping man.
What he wants in his heart is not only these, he wants to hug this person well, he wants time to go back to the past, and he also wants time to go to the future where he no longer has any thoughts.
Too many thoughts are nothing more than a desire for a person.
Leaving Cao Ning's side, Zhang Qingyun went to another bed and fell asleep with his bizarre dream.
When I slept until it was almost dawn, it was very hot around me, and there was an extra small heater.
Zhang Qingyun thought Cao Ning had a fever, and her first reaction in confusion was to touch his forehead.Later, I found out that it was all right, so I hugged him and continued to sleep.
Just like last summer when they were together, in the small bedroom of old Zhang's house, they also spent a period of time cuddling each other.
The short-lived beauty is probably the most heartbreaking thing in this world.
The most beautiful thing in Zhang Qingyun's memory is Cao Ning.
After waking up, Cao Ning hugged him and said, "If I don't come, will you never take even a small step towards me again?" gift.
But Zhang Qingyun's answer made him unable to blame him, he said: "There is no place for me to walk, you have already trapped me."
He is a time passenger stuck in the past and unable to get out.
"Why am I trapping you? Am I the one in your heart?" Everything in the morning was a new beginning, and Cao Ning's heart, which was illuminated by the sun, gradually warmed up, and she began to have new hope.
"It's you."
His words are enough to make the spring warm and the flowers bloom.
"I have traveled to so many countries, and the snowy night in Australia is the hardest to forget, so I come back here again." What he wants to hear is here, and what he can understand and accept is also here. here.
As for those things that no one can understand and remember, only one person can remember them.
"Is this a confession?" Cao Ning couldn't help but look for the other hand with his hand under the quilt. Before the other party answered, his urgency was so obvious.
"It's not a confession, it's like this." Zhang Qingyun turned his face, faced him, and met his eyes: "Are you ready to be with me?"
He smiled warmly, a little looking forward to it, and a little apprehensive.
Cao Ning grinned, enjoying this moment, he likes to be watched.
How can I describe my current feeling, as if my heart has grown wings and flew to the top of the clouds, so happy.
"What kind of confession is this? I can't see sincerity." He said to Joe.
"Then I can't see your sincerity." Zhang Qingyun is not a persimmon, so he can pinch it as he pleases.
"..." That's right, it was me who came to the door crying, and I was completely ashamed.
"Or you can think about it again." Zhang Qingyun had to say the premise first, just like Nian said: "Are you ready to be gay? Are you ready to accept various tests and pressures?"
These are questions.
It's not just what you say you can do.
Verbal promises are not worth the reality, Zhang Qingyun has already experienced it once.
"We can be like A Yu and Ding Lin, you know them too?" Cao Ning thought about it, but there was no better way.
"The president doesn't plan to be with him forever, it doesn't matter if they are separated or not, but I care." Zhang Qingyun said: "It's really nerve-wracking to like you, maybe one day you will disappear."
If you are sensible, you should stay away from him.
It's a pity that I can't do it every time, and every time I fly to the flame.
Even if you have nine lives, it's not enough to spend so much.