What is the purpose of learning God to be a network administrator?

Chapter 39

Xu Zhenzhen sat up and said, "I have a crush on you. I don't deny this, but it doesn't mean anything."

A typical answer of one candy and one slap.

"It doesn't mean anything to have a good impression?" Fan Zhe'an lowered his eyes, "This is really interesting. He said he has a good impression of me, but now he is thinking about his first love."

Xu Zhenzhen smiled evilly and approached him, "When I called Shen Tianyi today, I felt that something was wrong with you, are you jealous?"

"I like to be jealous, eat sour, the more sour the better." Fan Zhe'an responded to him with what he said.

Xu Zhencheng: "People are very complicated. Being obsessed with something does not mean that I am looking forward to the response, nor does it mean that I want to start over with him."

Fan Zhe'an: "Boss Xu is twisting his tongue again."

"You don't understand. You can only feel this stuff yourself. No matter how much others tell you, it's empty words." Xu Zhencheng seemed to recall, "First love is really beautiful and worth remembering."

Fan Zhe'an's eyes turned cold, "Since you like him so much, why did you break up?"

"Break up..." Xu Zhenzhen returned to his idle look, "It has nothing to do with you, kid, why do you know so many other people's affairs?"

After a long time of no response, Xu Zhenzhen turned to look at the person next to him.

Fan Zhe'an was looking at him with probing eyes, his expression was gloomy and cold, as if it was about to rain heavily.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Do you want to eat me?"

Fan Zhean still looked at him, moved his jaw, but didn't say anything.

Xu Zhenzhen put away his smiling face, and his expression became serious, "You have never been in a relationship, and many things are unclear. During this period of time, many of our behaviors have gone too far. My problem is very big. I apologize to you, but you can't into a misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding?" Fan Zhe'an separated the words, "Why do you think it's me who fell into the misunderstanding, not you?"

"Me?" Xu Zhencheng laughed at himself, "I have made mistakes, but I have no misunderstandings. I am sober about many things."

"Are you really sober? You still pretend to understand." When Fan Zhe'an didn't smile, his demeanor changed completely, and he lost his approachability. "Boss Xu just said one thing correctly. I really shouldn't know about other people's affairs." .”

There is something in Fan Zhe'an's words, and it's not that Xu Zhencheng can't hear it, but he hates it. He hates other people beating around him and using words to connotate him.

"I'm talking to you well, why do you still open your mouth to bite?" Xu Zhencheng scratched his hair, "Fan Zhe'an! Just explain what you fucking want to say at once, don't let me guess, I'm annoying."

Fan Zhe'an approached him and pressed him into the soft sofa, "I don't know what I want to say, I feel very confused when I see you now."

Xu Zhencheng was lying in the comfort zone, but he couldn't feel comfortable, as if the carefully built protective cover was pierced by a sharp weapon, and the wind and rain leaked from the damage.

Xu Zhencheng said, "Then close your eyes and don't look at me, just say what comes to mind, from your next sentence onwards, within the three questions, I will tell you the truth."

Fan Zhean still pressed his hand on his shoulder, and blurted out: "Do you still like Shen Tianyi?"

Xu Zhenzhen nodded, and the strength of the hand on the shoulder became stronger.

"A person will like many people in a lifetime," Xu Zhencheng looked at him, "How complicated are the feelings..."

That teenage love, except for the bad ending, has no flaws.Xu Zhencheng will not deliberately remind himself to forget, there is no need to force himself to forget the good.

The once youthful throbbing has been honed by time, and it has been changed into a different form and continues to exist in the memory, just like a CD. It is a new taste to look back occasionally.

But there will be no more new stories.

Fan Zhe'an would not understand this feeling, all Xu Zhencheng could say was, "Shen Tianyi and I are out of the question. You still have two questions to ask."

Xu Zhenzhen was lying relaxed, her hair scattered behind her back, like blooming dazzling black petals, which attracted people's eyes.

Fan Zhe'an felt that what he said just now was very unlike himself, and his heart was a little sour and confused, and because Xu Zhencheng was right in front of him, it was difficult to sort out the already messy thoughts.

What exactly is the feeling that Xu Zhencheng was talking about?Why can't two people who like each other be together? "I don't want you to treat me like a child," Fan Zhe'an let go of him, "I'm a grown man."

"Oh, you don't want me to call you that in the future, okay?" Xu Zhenzhen picked up the empty cigarette case, "I'll just call you by your name from now on."

Fan Zhe'an felt a little angry, "You always misinterpret my meaning today."

Xu Zhenzhen took the cigarette case and folded the frog, "I told you just now that I don't like to guess what other people mean. If you didn't explain it clearly to me, then don't rely on me to guess."

"To put it simply," Fan Zhe'an pinched the knuckles of his index finger, "I seem to like you a little bit."

Xu Zhenzhen, who had a premonition for a long time, was still stunned, "Really?"

"So I'm messed up," Fan Zhe'an took a deep breath, "I'm not sure if my current feelings for you are the kind of liking, I've never liked anyone else, and I'm like an idiot who doesn't know anything about it of."

Xu Zhenzhen quickly folded the little frog skillfully, placed it on the carpet and flicked it twice, and the little frog jumped into Fan Zhean's palm.

"Fan Zhe'an, you are very smart, no one can deny this," Xu Zhencheng said, "You have never been in a relationship, and it is normal to feel confused. I also believe that you like me a little bit. So what? You like me a little bit, and then what? "

Fan Zhe'an didn't know how to respond to the sudden rhetorical question.

"You like me a little bit, how do you want me to respond, or what kind of relationship do you want the two of us to have?" Xu Zhencheng smiled, "You only know that you like me a little bit, but you haven't considered any of these. Quite Okay, that little bit of teenage restlessness of yours will go away soon."

"Let me think about it again." Fan Zhe'an was used to reason. It's not that he didn't think about these questions, but he didn't solve the answer.

He wanted to give himself some time to think about how to give a standardized answer.

"Your theoretical knowledge is very rich, but your practical experience is a mess." Xu Zhencheng picked up the little frog and tore it into several pieces. "Don't think about it, why add unnecessary troubles to yourself? Most of your emotional ups and downs are caused by it." Maybe it's because I'm too good-looking."

He made an unfunny joke, Fan Zhean didn't laugh twice as before, Xu Zhencheng felt a little uncomfortable.

"Is it because you and Shen Tianyi separated because you are gay?" Fan Zhe arranged for all the impossibilities, leaving only this possibility.

Xu Zhencheng threw the shredded paper into the ashtray, and the flying ash splattered in the air, and there were particles of invisible dust suspended in the air.

"Yes," Xu Zhencheng said lightly, "because we are homosexuals who can't get on the stage. The teacher found out, his family found out, he transferred to another school and we broke up, it's that simple."

Is it simple?

not simple.

Shen Tianyi's family is very traditional, his parents don't accept the word homosexuality at all, and it is even more impossible for him to let this word appear on his proud son.

He had already forgotten whether it was discovered by Shen Tianyi's family or the teacher first.

But that afternoon, when they were in the office, the last time they met.

When Shen Tianyi followed his parents, he turned his head and stretched out his hand to Xu Zhencheng.

Xu Zhencheng didn't grab him immediately like when he was sitting on the wall that day.

After he left, Xu Zhencheng stretched out his hand to the front where there was no one there, but he couldn't grab anything.

The brief first love, flat and throbbing, ended quietly.

The head teacher was going to tell Shu Yun and Xu Zhizhong about this.That was the first time Xu Zhencheng begged for help in a low voice, begging the class teacher not to tell them that he was gay.

The teacher in charge thought he was afraid of being punished by his family.

In fact, he was concerned about his father's little heart.Any father who knew that his son was gay would have a heart attack if he didn't have a heart attack, let alone Xu Zhizhong who already had a heart attack.

The head teacher was soft-hearted, and concealed the matter for Xu Chengxin, but asked Xu Chengcheng to promise to study hard.

Xu Zhenzhen crossed his legs and finished the matter briefly, "Since then, I have not skipped classes, and I have not thought about dating. Big B."

Probably feeling that this is not a good way to say it, Xu Zhencheng changed his language, "I am the third in our school and the third in the urban area. I don't remember how much I ranked in the province, but it does not exceed two digits."

Fan Zhe'an was digesting what he said.

"Fan Zhe'an, do you think you can really accept being gay? I'll build a scene for you," Xu Zhenzhen gestured with his fingers, "If there are a lot of people, it doesn't matter whether they recognize you or not, just watch the scene Mentality, pointing around you, saying that you are disgusting, and feel like throwing up when you see homosexuality, can you bear this feeling? No one has ever said these things to you, right? "

Fan Zhe'an took a deep breath and exclaimed heavily, "I don't know, I never answer questions about 'what if', it's very meaningless."

"Why is it meaningless?" Xu Zhencheng hooked his neck and sat on his lap, the two of them faced each other, "Come and look at me, and imagine the scene I just said. If you have to go this way If there is no way, we must be aware of it, because it is very likely to happen.”

Fan Zhean rested his hands on the carpet and looked at Xu Chengxin calmly.

It was quite an ambiguous gesture, but the two of them had no desire at all at the moment.It's like an extreme tug-of-war, in order to convince the other party, but also to convince myself.

Fan Zhe'an raised his chin, and rubbed the corner of Xu Zhencheng's mouth like a dragonfly on water, as if to please him.

Xu Zhenzhen bowed his head down, but met each other through breathing, and didn't touch any place that didn't belong to him.

No wonder many people like the feeling of ambiguity. It is an itchy and unbearable temptation. Every touch is like walking on eggshells, for fear of breaking the balance that is so hard to maintain.

"Give me a little more time, and I will think about what you said." Fan Zhe'an's eyes were clear.

"Okay, you still have a chance to ask a question, and you can get the most sincere answer from Boss Xu." Xu Zhenzhen pinched his earlobe and sat down on the sofa again. "I will rent you a new house, and you will move out tomorrow." Well, I'm still more used to living alone, and I don't have to close the door if I want to take a flight."

Fan Zhe'an pursed his lips, and after a while he compromised: "No, I don't have anything, I can leave now."

After he finished speaking, he stood up and went back to the bedroom to pick up the only schoolbag he had when he came. When he left, he looked at Xu Zhenzhen who had opened another pack of cigarettes.

Xu Zhencheng looked at him and smiled, "Actually, there's no need to worry, I don't mean to drive you away."

"I know," Fan Zhe'an said with restraint, carrying a bag on one shoulder, "You are always in front of me, I'm afraid I can't help it..."