novelsmap Chapter 124 [Give me a reason to forget 1
Chapter 124 [Give me a reason to forget 1
Just when Yang Ruichen finished saying these words, his expression was blank for a moment, as if he was in a daze about what he had just done.
He stared at the window for a long time, why his mind went blank, then why he couldn't remember what he was doing just now.This momentary feeling of powerlessness made him feel a little frustrated, and it seemed that this situation had become more and more obvious recently.
But soon he recovered. Today he came to Lin Luo to ask for an explanation. He has grown up and is capable of facing difficulties. He should not hold back the grievances he suffered before. .
Something seemed to flash through my mind, but I ignored it, so I turned my attention to Lin Luo who was on the hospital bed.
"Loving someone shouldn't be so terrible, you shouldn't love someone, you are not qualified to love someone, you will only hurt the one you love." After Yang Ruichen finished speaking, he suddenly remembered Lin Luo's question just now, but why did he feel that something was wrong, Were they talking about this just now?
Listening to Lin Luo's emotional ups and downs, she felt that she was no longer in the dominant position. Why was she being led away now? She tried to struggle and restrain her, with a grim expression on her face.
"Is there anything wrong with my lover? I can dig out my heart and show it to you. I really love that person very much. Why can't you take a look at me! Why!!!"
The roar of the old man's vicissitudes and hoarse voice made people feel very sad.
Why can this guy get the love he wants, why can't she, why is it so unfair to her! !
She just wants to be loved.
Lin Jie had never seen his mother-in-law so angry, and it might be because he never understood what her mother-in-law wanted to express. Maybe it was because of this that he didn't understand what their world was like.
Yang Ruichen looked at the angry expression of the person on the bed indifferently, and there seemed to be some pleasure in his eyes. Does Lin Luo have such a day?
So he lowered his head and smiled and said, "No one will love you, who would love such a crazy you."
The slightly raised eye corners seem to soften the eye ends, making this handsome appearance much gentler, completely different from the previous gloomy appearance, and changed again.
But the smile on his lips was put away the second he finished speaking, and he was a little confused, and his mind was blank again. He felt as if he had forgotten something. Did he just say something? ?
The clearer this feeling becomes, the more uncomfortable it becomes. What's going on with him? What did he say just now?
Why is this happening?
"You won't feel better, Yang Ruichen. You are a lunatic like me. How can you love someone? Don't you know what it looks like when you see blood? When I gave you a taste, how dare you say you Isn't your blood boiling in your heart! You are no longer a normal person, and you can't hurt others. I can't remember what you said just now. You are the same as me. You will hurt your appearance, because you He's also a lunatic, hahahaha..." Lin Luo's voice with the ventilator was very difficult, and it was very uncomfortable to hear.
But even if she is so ill, she is still unwilling to let go of any words that refute her, and she will not let go of anyone who hurts herself.
madman?
How could he be crazy.
But why didn't he know what he said just now, why there was a gap in his memory in the last second and the next second, who is controlling him?
Yang Ruichen's pupils shrank slightly, his hands hanging by his sides were slightly clenched, and the corners of his eyes were pulled slightly, as if trying to restrain himself, he finally stood up and walked out of the ward without looking back.
And the emotions he was trying to restrain were in urgent need of venting.
So what did he say for a few minutes just now...
totally no idea.
He found that his situation has become more and more obvious recently. He can't remember what he did in the last second and forget it in the next second.
Will one day not know what I have done or forget who I am, so that I will forget my appearance.
This is not possible.
Lin Jie hurriedly rang the bedside bell just now, his mother-in-law looked quite pissed off, it was another failed conversation, it was impossible for the two of them to chat normally.
The psychiatrist hurried out with Yang Ruichen, and today she discovered something more important.
In the smoking area at the end of the corridor, a slight sobbing sound was heard at this moment. The psychiatrist walked to the corner and slowed down his pace, not getting too close, trying to give Yang Ruichen a safe distance.She stood not far away and looked at the boy squatting in the corner not far away, hugging his head and sobbing, maybe it was the emotion he had endured for a long time, and crying at this moment made people feel very distressed.
This kind of mental illness is undoubtedly tormenting. The superficial innocence has already been pierced through thousands of holes in the heart. No matter how verbally attacking and revenge on the person who hurt him, it will not help at this time.
She saw the confusion on the child's face just now, because the appearance of all the personalities in an instant confused the memory in his mind, and the memories between the personalities were independent, so sometimes he would not know what he had done.
This situation is likely to become more and more serious in the future.
Now Lin Luo is just one of the difficulties. The old man doesn't have much time. Once he passes away, it will be another difficulty for Yang Ruichen, because the hatred in his heart will not disappear because of the old man's departure, but will have no place to release because of the disappearance. It is likely to vent in other ways.Aggressive behavior, vindictiveness, antisocial emotions, etc. are bound to arise.
Usually at this time, it is better to be accompanied by someone, but this child does not want to be known about his problems.
Still from anxiety.
Especially the person named Yan Zhi who is the most reluctant to let go.
"why me……"
Yang Ruichen's crying seemed to be gnashing his teeth and crying, full of resentment and unwillingness, he had never been so frustrated before, and he didn't know that after he dug out all these things, he would uncontrollably lead himself to a place where he might not return. Go in the direction of the road.
He looked up at the front window, his vision blurred.
I really want to look good, I really want it.
But he can't go back, it will frighten his appearance.
"Ruichen, you can ask for help, tell me what you are afraid of, and I can help you." The psychiatrist squatted beside the person and asked gently.
"Actually, it's not that difficult..." Yang Ruichen lowered his head and looked at his open palm, at the clear lines in his palm: "But it's not difficult to think about it, but it's so difficult to do it."
He had obviously made up his mind to solve the problem, but many days had passed, and he found that he had not only failed to solve it, but had also gotten himself into trouble.
This hurdle was tightly blocked in his chest, and he began to feel anxious, unable to sleep well every night, sometimes sitting for a whole night, thinking that the person next door was Lin Luo, he couldn't control himself at all. Think about things that have happened before.
In fact, if you think about it seriously, what happened before is nothing, but Lin Luo told him a lot of murder stories in the small room, how he killed him, and even how he hid the corpse in order to hide what he did. How did you escape.
He can think very simply, but he finds that every time the doctor treats him, he can't speak a word.
The bloody scene seemed real, and it was clear that Lin Luo had only told him in rich words back then, but it was precisely because of this that he felt fear and helplessness.He knew it was very simple, not how to kill, how to deal with after killing, whether to eat or stew or drink blood, but these are simple but indelible pain in his heart.
He wanted to vent hysterically, but there was nowhere to vent it. He felt that he was bound by those fears and had nowhere to escape, so he subconsciously closed himself up and escaped.
Yan Zhi suppressed all his negative emotions very well in the past ten years. He originally thought that he would never have to think about the past again, but after Lin Jie appeared, he knew that some things had to be resolved after all.
But now he is in trouble, he doesn't know how to solve it, obviously Lin Luo is right in front of him, obviously Lin Luo is going to die, he can stimulate her by venting Lin Luo every day, but it is precisely because of this that he puts into another vortex.
He found that there might be other people in his body, taking away his consciousness when he was not paying attention, so he always forgot what he was doing in the last second.
So what should he do, will he not be able to get out of such a cage at all, what about Yan Zhi, Yan Zhi is still waiting for him to go back.
"Don't be afraid, you have to have confidence in yourself, and the person you like is still waiting for you." The psychiatrist put his hand on Yang Ruichen's arm: "I understand your fear, but I hope you don't give up, if you are alone If a person can't hold on, you can ask him for help."
"I'm afraid to scare him." Yang Ruichen looked at the floor, he didn't want to scare his appearance.
"You should trust him."
Yang Ruichen was taken aback.
The psychiatrist smiled and said: "If you are afraid that you will scare him now, then you can go to see him secretly. I hope you can maintain a mood of anticipation every day, and the next time you appear in front of him openly and tell him that you are back." gone."
Secretly looking at the value of appearance?
"Taking advantage of having nothing when you were young and frivolous, learn to do your best without hesitation." The heart doctor took out a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to him: "We haven't reached the worst yet, you have to believe in yourself and give yourself courage. If If you think you can’t do it, then go find your face value. Don’t choose to escape because of fear, just because you think you will scare him doesn’t mean he will think so, maybe he will think why you don’t ask him for help.”
"it is good."
bang bang bang-
"Cheng Meng, you opened the door for me. You owe me so much money and still don't pay it back? Do you think there is such a good thing in the sky? If you don't have money, don't borrow money. If you borrow money and don't pay it back, you still dare to hide for me now." Inside!!!"
Yan Zhi stood at the door of the room without moving. He watched the door panel being slammed and listened to the roar of begging for money outside. He thought he knew what was going on. It should be that Zhang Rui accidentally mentioned her father last time. The borrowed money has not been repaid, and now there is a knock on the door like a reminder.
Feeling Zhang Rui shaking violently behind him, he thought that if he hadn't come, this guy would probably be scared to death.
"Brother, don't open the door...they will beat people, it's scary, don't open the door."
Yan Zhi pulled him to the sofa and sat down, ignoring how loudly the door was knocked, he squatted in front of Zhang Rui, looked up at the person and said:
"It's okay, can they still break the door? It's against the law to break into a private house, and they won't do this."
He knew that his recent life stinks like eating feces. It's fine if Yang Ruichen can't find him, and now he still has to deal with such things.It seems that it was no accident that he saw the injury on Ms. Cheng's cheek that day.
Gangsters who come to ask for money.
"Then what should we do now?" Zhang Rui's face turned pale, as if she was terribly frightened.
"Do you know how much your father owes?"
Zhang Rui frowned and thought for a long time: "Maybe it's about 10,000+? I also know it very well. I heard my mother mention it on the phone again before."
After a while, Yan Zhi heard that there was no movement outside the door, and then walked to the door, and watched the cursing people outside the door through the cat's eyes, and then said to Zhang Rui:
"Go and call your mother and ask her to come back. I have something to look for her."
He had to solve these bad things, and he would not have a peaceful life if he didn't solve them.
"Oh." Zhang Rui ran to make a phone call.
But no one answered the phone.
Yan Zhi frowned, he still doesn't know what kind of job his mother is doing, is there any job that needs to leave the sick daughter all day long?Was it the same when he was not around?
"Your mother left you at home all day?"
"It's not like this every day. Occasionally, she's busy." Mentioning this, Zhang Rui's expression was a little sad, and she looked pitifully on the sofa: "Because I was sick and needed money, my mother worked very hard, and I dare not Complaining that being alone is scary."
Yan Zhi felt that he was really stupid, because of a momentary soft-heartedness, he ended up going around here every day. He obviously didn't need to do this, and he had no obligation to do so.
Once this kind of thing comes into contact, if you still want to get rid of the relationship, it will be hard to argue in the future.
So now the only way is to pay back the money.
"Do you know where your mother works?"
Zhang Rui tilted her head and thought for a while: "The office building on the other side of the pedestrian street, Dexin Studio, seems to be on the third floor."
Yan Zhi rubbed her head and said, "You can eat lunch after heating it up. I'll go find your mother." After speaking, she turned around and opened the door to leave.
If this matter is not resolved, he feels that he may never be able to get rid of it.
He had already figured it out, this time it was his last affection for Ms. Cheng, he didn't need such a pricey maternal love.
When I got out of the elevator, I ran into Ms. Cheng.
This time is too good to be stuck.
Ms. Cheng's expression changed when she saw the appearance, and her eyes flickered as if she was covering up something.
"It's just right that you came back. You will come back when those people leave."
Facing the child's questioning, Ms. Cheng felt a little heavy. In fact, she didn't want to do this, but because she was afraid of being beaten, sometimes she could only hide, and because she didn't have so much money, she had to treat Zhang Rui. I can't afford that much money.
Yan Zhi didn't want to waste time with others, so he said directly: "How much do you owe?"
She didn't hide it anymore, how could she not know when those people came to the door just now: "12."
"The money my grandmother gave me is still with you. I will pay you back 12 yuan, and then I will match Zhang Rui. If it matches, I will donate the bone marrow to her."
Ms. Cheng looked at her face in shock, her eyes sparkled, so her daughter is saved?
"From now on we will not be in touch again."
Ms. Cheng was stunned, she didn't expect Yan Zhi to say such a thing.
"I don't want my mother who never took care of me and never loved me to continue to influence my life and make my life a mess. I would rather live alone." Yan Zhi looked at the woman in front of her and said seriously: " I hope you can be more ruthless and abandon me completely so that I will not have anything to do with you again. I will come and go to the hospital with Zhang Rui tomorrow. If the match can be successful, I will give her a bone marrow transplant. If it doesn’t work, it’s worth the money.”
Turning to leave.
Ms. Cheng watched her son's back gradually drifting away, feeling very sour in her heart. Why did she make everything so bad again? It shouldn't have been like this.
Her selfishness completely pushed away the son who was slowly approaching her.
Not to mention the relationship now.
Yan Zhi walked to the bus station and saw that the nearby buildings were already too familiar. She has been running here for the past few days.Because I can't control my soft heart.
He can't be so stupid anymore, he wants to go back to the old days, carefree is his life, and he doesn't need to be affected by these things.And Yang Ruichen...
Why don't you come back.
45 days have passed.
Standing next to the stop sign at the bus stop waiting for the bus, looking up at the bus route map, boring to pass the time.
Because the bus route map was inside the glass cabinet, he saw a very familiar figure in the reflection of the glass cabinet, how could he not recognize this person.
Yang Ruichen? !
Turned his head sharply.
Behind him were only elementary school students who were startled by his sudden turn of the head, and passers-by waiting for the bus. They didn't even see the person reflected in the glass cabinet just now.
He immediately walked towards the big stop sign behind the stone bench, wondering if he might be hiding.But there was only a couple behind, and no one else.
There was no Yang Ruichen I saw just now.
Is he wrong?
The eyelids are slightly closed, and the look in the eyes is a little dim, he must have misread it.
Disappointed, he walked back to the stop sign and began to look at the road map again, his mind went blank.
As everyone knows, in front of Yan Zhi, there is a person standing behind the stop sign just in front of Yan Zhi. If Yan Zhi lowers his head, he can see someone's shoes.
"Hey, Yang Ruichen, you grandson."
Yang Ruichen leaned behind the stop sign and listened. The voice he hadn't heard for a long time put him in a particularly good mood. Even if his appearance was scolding him, he suddenly felt very satisfied.
"Where is there any major event that made you run so far, are those shit matters as important as me, really." Yan Zhi whispered while leaning against the corner of the stop sign.
"It's not as important as you, I will get better." Yang Ruichen replied.
This sentence was covered by the noise of the bus at the station.
The road map of the glass cabinet is not completely blocked, and the situation on the opposite side can still be seen through the gaps on the sides.Yang Ruichen looked at Yan Zhi on the opposite side through the small blank glass, and frowned slightly when he saw his much thinner cheeks and blue eyes.
Have you been eating and sleeping well lately?Looks a lot thinner.Yan Zhi's mother doesn't seem to take good care of her appearance.
I feel a little uncomfortable.
When Yan Zhi saw the bus he was waiting for came, he quickly squeezed on it, because there were so many people leaving get off work at noon, the bus was really crowded, and he was squeezed to the position of the back door, so he could barely stand at the back door and support him .
The moment the car started, Yan Zhi was stunned when he saw the person he was talking about just now outside the back door of the bus.
Yang Ruichen was smiling at him just behind the stop sign he had just seen.
The author has something to say:
They haven't been in the same frame for a long time, my fault.
Yang Ruichen was about to go back, and soon he realized that he might not be able to control himself alone, and needed the help of his appearance.
But I promise I won't abuse you.
What if, if I abused me, me, me, me...
Send red envelopes QAQ.
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Ahem, the rabbit went to eat barbecue first, and then came back to write Chapter 2 when he was full.